Wednesday, January 30, 2008
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8:51 AM
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Dramatis Personae:
Bilbo Baggins: An elf who was quite stingy when people talk about adventures in front him. Frankly, he’s also quite generous and nice when there are people who wish to have a nice smoke with him. However, his life will soon change after an event.
Bungo Baggins: The father of Bilbo and the husband of Belladonna Took. He is not a significantly character in the story however, his traits had led the bad attitude of Bilbo. Bungo also did not like adventures and prefers a quiet life without any chaos.
Belldonna Took: The mother of Bilbo and the wife of Bungo Baggins. She is far different compare to Bungo, Belladonna was one of the three sisters in the Took family who was rich and famous and loved to go on adventures with other people. Belladonna’s personalities will change the traits of the stiff-headed Bilbo.
Gandalf: A wizard who loved to travel to various places for stories for adventures. He is one of the significant protagonists in The Hobbit and is mentally intelligent. However, his unusual behaviours do agitate some characters in The Hobbit – for example: Bilbo Baggins
Thorin: The head of all dwarves, he is old and had many experiences with exhilarating adventures like Gandalf. However, Thorin’s personality is more firm and serious compare to Gandalf since he has a leadership role as the chief of all dwarves.
Dwalin, Balin, Kili, Fili, Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur and Bombur:
All the listed dwarves visited Bilbo’s dirt less holes in a tea party. Thought to be annoying and pain in the a-hole, but they are the asset of Thorin and Gandalf not to mention also Bilbo.
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Chapter 1 – Unexpected Party
It was a vivid day for anyone to have a good smoke of a wood pipe. Bilbo Baggins was the son of Bungo Baggins who was rich and ignorant and the adventurous and also rich Belldonna Took. As Bilbo was blowing his long wood pipe which was almost as tall as himself and it created enormous smoke rings, which later scattered across the sky. Suddenly, Mr. Bilbo felt furious footsteps from far away. The giant man with a fancy wand came up to the short Baggins - Gandalf.
Bilbo (Cheery): GOOOOD MORNING!
(Slowly inclining and angling to the giant wizard)
Gandalf (Flummoxed): Hmm… My dear friend, what do you mean by “Good morning”? Do you think today is a good morning or you wish me to have a good morning?
(A view of the evergreen forest, the running water and the sedimentary-formed mountains).
Bilbo (Bouncy): Both of everything. It’s definitely a great day to have a good chillin’ smoke, you think? If yo have a woody pipey, we have all day to smoke sum rings, ya?
(Bilbo smoked different sizes of rings but Gandalf seemed less interested)
Gandalf (grins and unpleased): Afraid I don’t have the time to smoke for absurd rings. I wanna share my thrilling adventures…
(Concentrating on Bilbo… Bilbo’s eyes were popping out, he wasn’t an adventurous person. Then, he grinned)
Bilbo: Ah I see, well, I think it’s getting’ a bit too late now. I needa do some chores in the filthy hole.
Gandalf: WAITT!!!
(Bilbo wanted to rush into his dirt less hole yet he does not wish to be rude.)
Bilbo (annoyed): Hey old man! We quiet folks don’t like to be annoyed by chaotic adventures! I stay home to do normal things and when I say normal, it means I clean my hole, go have a long smoke and sleep!
Gandalf (angry): So this is how you treat ur friends? By getting’ rid of them!
Bilbo (sarcastic): No, no, no~ not at all, my dear hugemate! Hmm, speaking of which, do I know from somewhere?
Gandalf (Furious): Well you little ant! I sure know you well enough, you spoil bastard, Mr. Bilbo Baggins! And Gandalf is bought by my! I own Gandalf, yo he’r me, yo short piece of cameltoe!
(Bilbo and Gandalf are totally lit up. The terrain is shaking massively)
Bilbo (Fired up): Who yo callin’ a cameltoe!? You ugly T-bagger! You know what! Come over tomorrow for tea, dinner and whaeva yo want! I don’t give a wizard dung about you! Word?! WORD! PEACE!
(Bilbo slammed the door)
Gandalf (flummoxed): Wha the wizard hell is wrong with him? And where on earth did I ask fo T? Man, this wimp is whacked up!
(Gandalf stayed outside and chuckled. Then, he slowly drew a queer sign on Baggins’ door)
The next day… Generally, Bilbo does not remember things quite well unless he writes the upcoming events in the Engagement Tablet which he did; Wednesday: Tea Party. And after the tea party, it will change the life of Bilbo Baggins.
(A ring to the door)
Bilbo (rushed): Ah! Gandalf, sorry to keep you waiting!
(Wait a second it’s not Gandalf)
Dwalin: Dwalin at yo service.
(He hung his blue cloak onto the coat peg)
Bilbo (pleasantly): Thank you! Please yourself a home.
(Bilbo wondered who he was; he didn’t know dwarves were invited… Then, someone rang the door again. This time Bilbo was sure it was Gandalf the old wizard.)
Bilbo (excited): IT’S ABOUT TIME GANDALF!
(Wait… That’s not Gandalf again… Poor Bilbo is confused… He looked at Dwalin and this new dwarf… He was wearing a scarlet hood with a white beard.)
Balin (softly): Balin at your service, mate.
Bilbo (lost): Why thank you… Enjoy yourself!
(Balin hung his scarlet hood onto the peg beside Dwalin’s)
Bilbo (curious): Balin would you like to have some tea?
Balin: Naw, I prefer having beef with the seed cake.
(As Bilbo was serving him with the beer, someone was ringing the doorbell. He is getting quite agitated with the fact that Gandalf has not arrived and random dwarves are joining the party.)
Fili and Kili: We are at your service, sir.
Bilbo: Ah welcome! Join your friends in the tea halls
Fili and Kili: Oh, they have arrived already.
Bilbo (aside): Wait a second… What is this? “Oh, they have arrived already?” Who planned this? I thought only Gandalf knew about this party… I better get an explanation from someone…
(As both entered the hole, they respectively hung their blue hoods beside the other dwarves’)
Later…
(Finally… Bilbo thinks the moment of truth has arrived… He immediately dashed to the door. And WOW, Gandalf came with nine other dwarves to the house)
Bilbo (electrified): Wow old wizard, it took you a bit too long! So the dwarves are your friends, should of told me! I need to prepare food, too, you foo!
Gandalf (chuckles): Oh my bad, Mr. Panic, you were too cheesed to listen to me yesterday. Anyways lemme introduce my fellow friends. Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur and last but not less Thorin.
(Everyone seems pretty pleasant but no Thorin, he seems like a grumpy old dwarf compared to the other dwarves, well at least that’s what Bilbo is thinking at that moment.)
Bilbo (kindly): Will you all stay for supper?
Thorin: Of cos, we dun like to down to business too early! Meanwhile, dwarves! Start the folk song!
(Bilbo pondered what that meant and also troubled by the dishes. But the dwarves stood up and grab the dishes)
Bilbo (worried): Oh guys, it’s okay I can handle it!
All dwarves (sang): Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
Blunt the knives and bend the forks!
That’s what Bilbo hates-
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
Cut the cloth and tread on the fat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!
Splash the wine on every door!
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;
Pound them up with a thumping pole;
And when you’ve finished, if any are whole,
Send them down in the hall to roll!
That’s what Bilbo Baggins Hates!
So, carefully! Carefully with the plates!
(Bilbo was impressed and happy that the dwarves didn’t ruin his eating utensils, but Thorin began to stuff the environment)
Thorin (firm): Gandalf, who is going to be our fourteenth dwarf or adventurer? Thirteen isn’t a great number to work with at all! It curses our journeys!
Gandalf: Hmm… I don’t know, I have this feeling who I want to join but…
Thorin: But what? Do tell!
Gandalf (looks at Bilbo): This man is quite hardhead with the idea of adventure… I want him to join but his mind won’t open up!
(Bilbo stood up seemed quite angry)
Bilbo: Hey! I told you yesterday that I am not interested with adventures! Why are you bringing this up in my HOLE!
Gandalf: Well, maybe this time it’s really important!? (Everyone is whispering) It determines the life of those fortunes up the The Hill!
Bilbo: Ho ho ho oh! Does it look like I would care, I am filthy rich myself! Why do I need any more unnecessary fortune!
(Thorin is beginning to get disconcerted by Bilbo’s spoil attitude, but suddenly the dwarves began to say a song to the members in the tea party.)
All dwarves (sang): Far over the misty mountains
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day,
To seek the pale enchanted gold.
The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,
While hammers fell like ringing bells
In place deep, where dark things sleep,
In hollow halls beneath the fells.
For ancient king and elvish lord
There many a gleaming golden hoard
They shaped and wrought, and light they caught
To hide in gems on hilt of sword.
On silver necklaces they strung
The flowering stars, on crowns they hung
The dragon-fire, in twisted wire
They meshed the light of moon and sun.
Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day,
To claim our long-forgotten gold.
Goblets they carved there for themselves
And harp of gold; where no man delves
There lay there long, and many a song
Was sung unheard by men or elves.
The pines were roaring on the height,
The winds were moaning in the night.
The fire was red, it flaming spread;
The trees like torches blazed with light.
The bells were rining in the dale
And men looked up with faces pale;
Then dragon’s ire more fierce than fire
Laid low their towers and houses frail.
The mountains smoked beneath the moon;
The dwarves, they heard the tramp of doom.
The fled their hall to dying fall
Beneath his feet, beneath the moon.
Far over the misty mountains
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day,
To win our harps and gold from him!
(Bilbo is reconsidering what he just said about the adventure, his Took side is finally taking over the little Baggins)
Bilbo (aside): Well… The gold is being taken over by the dragons and not to mention, the gold is near the wonderful misty mountain! But I shouldn’t be involved should I..? Why not, since my wonderful mother Belladonna Took did adventures with her filling life! I ought to try something new right…? And I think it’s quite meaningful, since I have doing it with the dwarves and with the big ape that I know – Gandalf.
(To everyone): Ok! I made up my mind! My dear friend Gandalf and dwarf-mates! I will be your fourteenth adventurer!
(Everyone is shocked but happy about it)
Gandalf and Thorin (pleased): Ah… Bilbo, you made the right decision! I am very happy to welcome you, we really need your assistance in the future.
Bilbo: Don’t mention it.
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Procrastinator
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